There's nothing He doesn't know.......

The last few weeks it's been pretty hard to hold it all together. I've been juggling with so many emotions; sadness, fear, worry, tiredness, anger and at times rage. Dealing with them and keeping them undercontrol has been hard. Life at present is amazing yet still a bit unsure in the Dryden household with this court case still hanging over us.

Today has been one of those days when Jesus has said "Sal, stop holding on to the duvet too tightly you are nicking my bit and I am getting cold!"

Two Christmas's ago a wonderful friend gave me a framed copy of the picture at the top of this blog. It's called 'It is finished' by Aidan Meller. It is just beautiful, look at the look in Jesus' eyes. He is saying 'Just for you, it will be ok, I did this just for you'. I love this picture, it is one of my prized posessions and hangs in my office at home in front of my desk were can see it at all times, just a glimpse is all I need.

Sadly it's positioning on the wall seems to mean that if anyone (apart from me) wants to get the ironing board from where it lives they accidentally knock it off the wall, often without realising they have done it. I go back into my office and find it on the floor, frame bent and broken - I have reframed it once after many fixes of the first frame.

Sometimes it's the strangest things that tip you over the edge when you are feeling a little fragile and this was it. Today, not only was the picture on the floor in a crumpled heap but I joined it. We had a good sob together, I looked Him in the eyes, He told me it would all be ok, and off I set to fix the frame again.

As I have done so, I had to take the whole thing to pieces and glue it, and I have found that the picture is actually a card and I had never noticed this before. On the back of the card is printed 'If God is with us, who can be against us?' Romans 8 v 31.

What can I say, what can I sob, apart from thank you Lord - I know you are bigger than a broken frame - you mend broken lives - mine included.

The first day of the rest of my life!

I'm not a big fan of New Years Eve, my girls were killing themselves laughing last night at my 'bar humbug' attitude as the 'Happy New Year' texts were coming in on my phone and I was bemoaning how lame it was! Last year flew by so quickly, it was a blur, one minute it was Easter then next it was Christmas.

Yet God has used these last few days to teach me quite a lot about how complacent I have become over the past twelve months.

I read UCB's Word for Today http://www.ucb.co.uk/word_for_today each morning and the last three mornings (30th, 31st and 1st) have been epic in reminding me how easy it is to stop dreaming and just trundle on with life; how sad it is when you give up on your God given dreams because in human terms they seen unattainable; how easy it is to have your dreams stolen from you and how hard it is when life tests us. Please read these three days if you don't read any others and hopefully you will also feel your passions stirred, eager and excited to see what God will do this year in your life. (The paper version of the Word for Today is avail at the welcome desk at St B's, 50p)

This past year for me, when it started was full of exciting God given dreams, some of which have come to fuition - the new Mini GAP cafe and Cakes with the King at the Craft Morning. But my family are still wading through a ridiculous legal case against us and the process of exploring ordination for me have been draining, the end of one and beginning of the other seem to me in human terms, unattainable.

When you ask God for a vision, you're likely to be placed in a field of opportunities concealed under acres of obstacles; a place of possibilities hidden beneath piles of problems. Then He will stand back and watch how you engage in the ministry of obstacle management! (WfT 30.12.09)

This really challenged me, you see I have faced the challenges, the easy ones, but the challenges that were really challenging, ones that I might not suceed at I have skirted around and given back to God. In truth knowing that God wanted me to get on with it rather than give it back to Him. He has alreadly told me his plans but I am not brave enough to take on those harder challenges that 'humanly' I could fail at.

Obstacles can't steal your dream without your permission. Obstacles can't stop God, don't let them stop you. (WfT 31.12.09)

I have allowed my fear to steal my God given dream. Never in my life have I ever wanted something so much that I could admit it, ordination and 'Martha's. I have always held on privately and tightly to my dreams, but with God dreams come to life, not always in the way you expect but my Father wants the best for me! In the words of the prophet Chumbawumba "I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never going to keep me down!"

'Between your dream and its fulfillment you'll be tested. Your faith, patience, strength, focus and readiness' (WfT 1.1.10)

Yep, it's true, all of those have been tested. I have been battered and bruised this past year, my faith has made me able to thank God through it all and turn to him, but in all honesty I havent' fought in some places where I ought have. I have forgotten God's promises to me but I am so thankful that He hasn't and is still encouraging me, through Word for Today and other mediums.

I begin this year with fire in my heart for God's dreams for myself and my family.

I am sorry Lord for the times when I have let you down by backing away from challenges rather than facing them. I ask that you can forgive me and give me courage, thoughts, words and faith to face all of the tests of this coming year, whatever they may be - for Your glory. I love You. Amen x x x x x

He did it again, did we ever doubt it, if we are honest yes, purely because as humans we are getting tired as we wade through all the Christmas celebrations, however He is never tired praise God. And the results were spectacular.

Thank you Jesus for being unchanging, never ending and ever loving.

Today we saw at least one healing, many friendships made, lives changed, exciting choices made and smiles a million miles long! Because its all about Him.

He was on the amazing dinosaur bouncy slide, He ate chips out of a newspaper cone, He had his face painted, played tennis on the Wii and graciously lost at lazerquest and table football at least once! He even let someone else win 'the fastest lap'!

For me it was seeing so many people at home, relaxing in His presence. Listening to stories of boots provided by Jesus, how great it was to go to an event that wasn't all about money, Christmas hopes and dreams and stories of reconciliation.

What did you miss? You missed Winterfest at St Barnabas. So sorry you missed it, don't miss out on Springfest 2010. The most amazing team, led by Elliott and Hannah introduced Jesus to the leafy suburb of Woodside Park in a way they had not seen before or expected. Thank you guys once again for including me in the fun. God bless you both x x x

Growing pains - not just for kids!

Growing pains aren't just for kids as I have found out recently. As we grow older, as our life situations change, as we come closer to knowing who we are in Christ come all kinds of 'growing pains'.

I remember when I was a kid, and had growing pains in my legs, my Mum used to give me a long red sock which when I put it on seemed to relieve the pain. The pains were excruciating and only ever at night, this long red sock was my healer, my comfort, my redeemer and release from this pain.

As I walk through life now as a full fledged parent and adult (however did that happen?) I still suffer from growing pains, but they are now mainly in my heart, rather than my legs.

All of a sudden I am the proud owner of two teenage daughters, and being as I was once a teenage daughter myself I am well aware of all the dangers the world holds for them. The world has become a more complicated place since I was a teen, there are so many more ways to get into grief with the golden age of technology upon us. And, nobody told me that your children leave home at age 11, I thought it was 18 at least and that I would have time for much more fun with them. But no, the minute they go off to secondary school and you are no longer waiting at the school gate for them is the day they leave home. With that comes a multitude of concerns and fears, you don’t know where they are at all times and it's no longer easy to protect them from making mistakes; and watching your children making mistakes is heartbreaking. There are many days when I feel totally out of my depth. Where's the red sock when you need it?

I know it's not entirely Biblical, but Jesus is now my red sock, the best red sock there is going. He is my healer, my comfort, my redeemer and release from all pain.

He loves me and He loves my children even more than I do (although I struggle to understand how that could be possible!). I trust him to always be watching over my girls, keeping them on the straight and narrow. And with that I have to learn to trust that I have done a good job equipping them for the next challenges that they are going to face in their lives and in turn trust them to make the right choices and pray that their choices are good ones.

Direct your children onto the right path ,and when they are older, they will not leave it. Proverbs 22:6

And in the meantime, in the red sock moments, I turn to Jesus with my worries and fears. Because Jesus is the SOCK, the SOCK of my salvation!

Lost

on a painted sky

Where the clouds are hung

for the poet's eye

You may find Him

if you may find Him

There

on a distant shore

By the wings of dreams

through an open door

You may know Him

if you may

Be

As a page that aches for a word

which speaks on a theme that is timeless

And the one God will make for your day

Sing as a song in search of a voice that is silent

And the one God will make for your way

And we dance to a whispered voice

overheard by the soul

undertook by the heart
You may know it

if you may know it

While the sand

would become the stone

which begat the spark

turned to living bone

Holy, holy

Sanctus, sanctus

Be

As a page that aches for a word

which speaks on a theme that is timeless

And the one God will make for your day

Sing As a song in search of a voice that is silent

And the one God will make for your way

Be - Neil Diamond, from the Jonathan Livingstone Seagull movie soundtrack

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgkk0Hdwmo8

Jesus said "these children are the kingdom's pride and joy"

Ok today was amazing, no better than that!

Autumnfest @ St B's - very ably organised by the kids work team at St B's, was packed full of children and their families (aged 0-99). Families from St B's, Barney's, GAP and MiniGAP and also many who had never been to St B's before were blown away by the fantastic time on offer.

Today I saw Jesus drinking coffee, eating hotdogs, playing on the soft play, manning the bouncy castle, playing table football, having fun in the laserquest room, making autumn pictures in the craft area, having His face painted and beating everyone hands down at Super Mario! Over 250 people filled the church it was so exciting to watch and such a privilege to be part of. Some amazing conversations were had and new friendships made.

Well done Elliott, Hannah and your amazing team - God bless you all

What's on your 'to do' list?

I am the queen of 'to do' lists. The comfort they bring me is immeasurable.

All too often I look at my 'to do' list and wonder just how it came to have so much on it. The ancient art of saying 'NO' needs to be refined in me.

Lists rule my life and I regularly find myself making two lists, a 'to do' list and shopping list. Sadly I then find myself in the supermarket proudly sporting my 'to do' list and not my shopping list (there is a downside in being reliant on lists!)

I am ashamed that God's name doesn't appear very often on my 'to do' list. My first thought should be "what would God want on my list for the day?"

Should it be something like write a note to thank Mary for the help she gave me the other day, or call George to check how he is feeling, or stick my head round the office door and give everyone a big smile OR even sit down and spend a little time with ME (God) today?

Cos the truth of the matter is there should be nothing on our 'to do' list that we haven't consulted God about first and without sitting down and spending time with him that isn't going to happpen. Jesus only did what he saw His father doing, how can I see what my Father in heaven is doing and join in if I am drowning in 'to do' lists?

This week I have been challenged to go on some walks with God, I have to do this for a whole month and I am really excited it. I have put them in my diary, just like I put time with my family and work appointments I have 'walk with God' written in my diary.

Hang the 'to do' list, the only thing I want 'to do' is spend time with God.

So what's on your 'to do' list and how much of it can wait until you have hung out with your heavenly Father the most important and pressing thing on your list?