Thursday, 19 January 2012

I love you more...

“But Dad, I can’t, I’m scared” said the little girl, feeling tears beginning to fill her eyes. She was trying to hold them back, brush them away before her Dad saw her and told her to “pull herself together and stop being so silly!”.

The tears were welling up even faster as she began to feel even sadder that her Dad didn’t just reach out and help her, hold her tight, guide her. She braced herself for the harsh words she knew she was going to hear. The words that went straight through her chest and ripped her heart out and the look that said “don’t be so pathetic” making her feel worthless and even more afraid.

But this time, strangely, something different happened. The little girl wasn’t so little anymore. She felt the tears run down her face. She closed her eyes so as not to see his look of disdain and as she did she felt His hand gently on her cheek, wiping away her tears. She felt His other hand hold her on the top of her arm and then draw her close to Him. She found herself in the tightest bear hug she had ever been in, her head safely tucked under His chin. This wasn’t her Dad, He smelt different. He didn’t smell of fear and anger, He smelt of love.

She felt Him gently stroke her hair. She looked up and fell into his huge eyes. Eyes that said “I love you, I’m so proud of you. You don’t need to be scared. You don’t need to be afraid. Let’s do this together. I know you can do it”.

It felt so strange, so alien, yet so amazing. One of those moments that you never want to stop, a moment you certainly never want to forget.

Who was this person who could make her feel like this – such an awesome feeling, and such a contrast to the way she had expected to be feeling right now.

Despite this amazing experience her mind still wanted to go back to that place of “I’m scared Dad, I can’t do it”. She opened her mouth to say it, but before the words came out she felt his hand gently touch her mouth, and He said “Yes, I know you can’t do it – BUT we can, we can do it together!” and He laughed. He laughed and smiled at her and all her fear slipped away. She began to laugh too, a laugh that she had never laughed before. Coming from a part of her being that she didn’t even know existed. She leant back in His arms and looked in His eyes again. She couldn’t believe what she saw. She saw love, she saw acceptance, she saw peace – but this time she also saw her own reflection and for a moment she didn’t recognise herself.

What she had seen in the past, when she had looked in a mirror, had been a grey skinned woman with many battle scars; with life written all over her face.

What she saw in the reflection in His eyes was a beautiful woman; the scars were still there, but no longer grey. The colour was back in her cheeks and her eyes smiled and sparkled like stars.

Slipping back into childish ways, fearful of losing this feeling she now felt, she said “I don’t want my old Dad anymore, will you be my Dad ?”

He replied “I am your Father, always have been, always will be. And you are my beloved daughter. I’m here to stay. Are you?”

“Oh yes, most definitely” she replied as she snuggled back into His arms. “I love you” she said into His chest.

“I love you more” He replied.

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could ~ Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father ~ Matthew 5:48