Have you ever had one of those days when someone you love so much has just been an absolute pain, and you are finding it hard to remember what made you love them in the first place?
In the sadness and pain that you are feeling at that time, revenge is the only thing on your mind. ‘They have hurt me, so I need to make them pay for it!’ is the thought running through your mind.
It’s pretty hard to feel love in those situations. Most of us live in this sea of romantic love, you know that type that happens at the beginning of most new relationships, and then that fateful day comes when your partner leaves the top of the toothpaste, or the toilet seat up, or worse – and then you move into the true state of love, the romance disappears and you have to ‘choose’ to love them, warts and all!
This can happen with your children and friendships also. They say that love and hate are the same emotion, just opposite ends of the spectrum. You love them intensely, and then the next minute they do something to upset you and suddenly you ‘hate’ them. You then have to choose to look beyond what has happened and love them no matter what. Because the truth of the matter is that you hate what they have done, you don’t hate them.
It’s tough, but it is real love. It’s the love that God has for us. How on earth could God love me, yet it says He does in the Bible. God chooses to love us, no matter what!
“I have loved you with an everlasting love” Jeremiah 31:3
In fact it says that God loves us unconditionally – despite the fact that I regularly mess up and probably really annoy Him. God chooses to love us unconditionally (that means there is nothing we could say or do that would ever make him love us any less – WOW). That is God’s grace; his unwarranted, unmerited love for us.
Love is not an emotion – it is a choice. It isn’t about finding a perfect person, there is no such thing. It is about seeing an imperfect person perfectly. If you are making a lifelong commitment to anyone, be it in a marriage, as a couple, to your children or in a friendship, it is important that you understand the level of commitment that comes with love.
Love is a choice, it is choosing to love that person unconditionally. Love is a verb. Love is a DOING word. It requires choices: hard choices, sometimes. It’s about sacrifice. It’s about faithfulness. It requires commitment. It sometimes hurts and doesn’t feel so good.
Is there someone in your life at present that you are struggling to love? I would love to pray for you and that relationship. God asks us to love everyone, as God loves us, unconditionally. It’s a big ask! I would love to hear from you. Facebook inbox me, email me firstname.lastname@example.org; drop me a letter, text me or catch up with me any time.