Saturday, 29 May 2010

‘Look to today, because yesterday is but a dream and tomorrow only a vision’

The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.
Lamentations 3:22-23 (New Living Translation)

I started this week at a three day selection panel, in Staffordshire, to see whether the Church of England will have me as a vicar! It was the most intense thing I have ever done in my life, having to do presentations, written tests, discussions, three interviews and being watched all the time I was there. I am glad to say I survived and actually enjoyed the experience; the other 15 candidates were really good fun to be with and as it was not a competition the level of support for each other was fantastic. I am very proud that I did it. I now have to wait until 9th June to find out the result.

There was, however, one point on Tuesday afternoon where I thought I had blown it. The vocational assessor was a tough interviewer, he asked the same question over and over again and in the end I ran out of different ways to answer it. I came away very frustrated and have to admit to going to my room for a good old sob. I said to God ‘I don’t think I can do this anymore, it’s been interviews and tests for the last two years in this process and I have had enough!’

As I laid on my bed to continue my sob I had to move a book I had been reading earlier, it fell on the floor and opened up, as I looked at it on the floor this is what I read:

‘The key to freshness in our walk with God is not to dwell on either yesterday’s successes or yesterday’s failures. God has a truckload of new mercies awaiting our lives every day when we wake up. We must not be flushed with our successes or duped by our failures. Yesterday belongs with yesterday and today is a new day of amazing mercy, grace and blessing.’

That was me told!

I pulled myself together, eager to get on with the next interview and put that last one behind me. There was nothing I could do to change it and the next one was a fresh start as far as God was concerned.

If you are living in regret of something, please don’t. God’s compassion, love and mercy for you is fresh every moment of every day. Put it down, whatever it is, forgive yourself and anyone else that it may involve and move on. Forgiveness is a tricky, long and hard thing to do, but a worthwhile journey (please speak to me if you need help with it, I would love to help you and pray with you).

As my wise old nan used to say ‘Look to today, because yesterday is but a dream and tomorrow only a vision’.

Love and prayers with you all, Sal x x x x x

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