Point your kids in the right direction, when they're old they won't be lost. Proverbs 22v6 (The Message)

Sometimes it is easy to forget that children have just arrived on the earth, and we expect far too much, far too soon. We become impatient, urging them to learn it all, learn it all quickly, to know it all and “act their age”, whatever that may mean.

Although it is true that children learn quickly about life through observation, it is unrealistic to expect them to be on top of it all and always get things right. I am the proud owner of two teenagers who, despite their size, both love to crawl into my lap and be hugged and rocked like they were when they were little. This is when I realise that at times my expectations for my children are unrealistic, when my ‘big girls’ still want to be ‘little girls’ – and have every right to be treated so as they have only been on this earth 13 and 15 years respectively. (They may be, physically, almost as big as me, but they are still young and have a lot to learn about life – come to think of it so do I!)

In your parenting how often do you find yourself beginning each sentence with “Don’t”. Have you asked yourself “Have I explained what I do want? Have I showed him/her how to close the door quietly? How I explained how to get my attention when I am busy?”. Explaining the dos works much better than constantly harping on the don’ts. Try explaining things to them, share information three times in three different ways.

One of my friends caught her three year old son playing roughly with their new kitten. After yelling at him numerous times to be gentler with the kitten she realised that she had never shown him how to hold a kitten properly. So she stopped and showed him. She let him practise with her helping him, she showed him a few more times and after a while he got the hang of it.
Give your children lots of practice time for whatever they’re learning, and remind yourself that, after all, they’ve been here a very short time.

Father God, you are the greatest teacher and perfect Father, please guide us in how to be good parents to our children. Show us how to model your unconditional love. Thank you for blessing us with them and may we in turn be a blessing to them. Amen

Open the floodgates of heaven and let it rain!

Rain is a good reminder of how our attitude can affect everything. Some of us let it destroy our day, others consider it a blessing.

Children seem to like the rain. They like to get wet and splash in puddles. When our girls were 7 & 9 we went on a family holiday to France. From the moment we arrived it rained, and rained, and rained. Steve and my first reactions were great, some holiday! The girls, however, were really not bothered by it. On the third morning when we got up, it was still raining, we went downstairs in our pyjamas for breakfast and just as we sat at the table Molly said “let’s go outside in the rain in our pyjamas Mum.” Steve and I looked at each other, mumbled excuses why we shouldn’t and prepared breakfast. “Come on Mum, let’s go outside” Molly asked again.

In that moment I felt the urge to agree with her, so outside we went, in our pyjamas, barefoot across the gravel courtyard and onto the grass, shrieking and laughing at the same time. It was howling down with rain, we were wet through in seconds, but it didn’t matter it was amazing fun. We stood on the grass by the trees, faces towards the sky, filling our open mouths with the rain – all of us like little kids. Then Alice shouted ‘there’s something on my foot!’, we looked down to see a tiny frog sitting on her foot, and there were lots and lots of them on the grass, all hopping around enjoying the rain like we were. In that moment life felt fresh and simple. It was pure joy. It was much more fun that being practical. Years later we all remember that day so clearly, that crazy, but fun morning.

When it comes to enjoying the simple pleasures in life, children are our best teachers. Adults forget quickly and get caught up in the little things that don’t matter very much. So what if you get wet when it is raining? By worrying about that you miss out on the fun of the moment. Kids can remind us to keep our attitude positive and our thoughts focussed on what really makes our hearts sing.

So relax and let the rain fall. Try never to miss out on a moment of joy with your kids!

The people brought children to Jesus, hoping he might touch them. The disciples shooed them off. But Jesus was irate and let them know it: "Don't push these children away. Don't ever get between them and me. These children are at the very centre of life in the kingdom. Mark this: Unless you accept God's kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you'll never get in." Then, gathering the children up in his arms, he laid his hands of blessing on them. Mark 10:13 The Message

Investing in your kids!

Sharing in your children’s pain and joy is the most precious privilege anyone could have, whether you are their Mum, Dad or spiritual parent. When they come to you and say “Mum can I talk to you about something” and you get that sinking feeling you can do one of three things, firstly be very proud that you have the kind of relationship where they can trust you with their secrets, secondly feel very honoured and give them all the time they need, or thirdly run a mile!

By the grace of God and a lot of hard work I have an amazing relationship with my girls. It has taken a lot of investing in, a lot of being honest, a lot of saying sorry when I messed up, a lot of laughs and twice as many tears. Yet is it my greatest achievement. I’m not saying that I am ‘supermum’ (the thong on the outside of my jeans is not a good look!) neither do I want you to think I am bragging because I fall down just as many times as I get it right and it is really heart wrenching tough work. But being real and honest with my girls has allowed them to be the same with me.

It’s the same with anything you put into life, any relationship or any job. The more you invest the better it is. Which is all a bit counter cultural these days as I notice the younger generations picking up a ‘if it’s broken, don’t bother fixing it just buy a new one’ mentality therefore walking away from situations that are so often redeemable, yet left broken. Many children are living in broken homes because relationships and marriages have not been invested in, because some think it is easier to start again elsewhere that fix what they already have. Life cannot and will not be hearts and flowers all the time. Times get tough, hard life choices have to be faced and sadly these days the being honest, open and vulnerable option from above, the run a mile option, is chosen because it is the easiest. But is it?

It’s not easy being a parent, no one ever said it would be. But we owe it to our children to be the best parents we can be. By investing in ourselves, our marriages and our relationships. By showing our children the ups and downs of life, by being vulnerable, by saying sorry, by sharing and celebrating the joy, but also sharing and celebrating the pain. Showing them that when tough times happen we can deal with them and try to fix them rather than walk away. It’s not about getting it right all the time, but it is about showing our children that nothing they could ever do would change how much we love them, how much we care.

It’s the kind of love that God has for you. He will always invest in you, always listen to you, always be there for you. You are not disposable, you are very precious to Him and totally redeemable. He sits with you in your sadness, your pain and in your joy. He invested everything in you the day He died on the cross for you. He wants you to be the best you can be, He wants to fix you, He wants you to be just like Jesus. Because He loves you x x x x x

The Secret Place

Where is your favourite place? The place you go to for peace, quiet and head space.

This morning, Saturday lie in morning, I find myself out of my bed at 7am to take Alice to catch a coach to Legoland. I feel a bit grumpy about this, I tried to go back to bed after dropping her off at 8am, but I am dressed now, the moment has passed and the bed is cold again!

I sat on the bed and read for a bit and then discovered I was enjoying myself! Steve and Molly are still asleep, even the cat had settled at my feet and the peace in the house was tangible. I found myself thinking, thank you God, for this moment to myself. To add to my joy I have taken myself downstairs to my favourite place in our house, the lounge. Our lounge has one glass wall, which looks out onto the garden and beyond. It is the most beautiful view as at the end of our garden is woodland and the Dollis Brook, we are not overlooked by anything but birds, trees and the beautiful sky. I watch the squirrels jumping from tree to tree, the woodpeckers picking ants out of the grass, the wood pigeons vying for the best branch to sit on and the clouds ambling by. God’s creation is truly breathtaking even in this simple view. This is where I sit with God and we catch up.

Do you have a place you go for peace, even if you can’t go to that place do you have a mental picture of that place that you can recall and sit with. A place that just you and God share - your secret place. Jesus recommends that we have these places, where all distraction in taken away, He said “when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private.” (Matthew 6:6)

We all need space in our lives to think and breathe. Family life, children, work and friends take so much of our time and energies, but we have to remember that we cannot give if we haven’t received ourselves. Time to plug into God and recharge our batteries.

So where is your favourite place? Can you go there today?

Thank you God for this amazing unexpected time with you this morning, I feel more refreshed now than any sleep could have provided, you know me better than I do and knew my need for today was time with you. Thank you Jesus, I love you. Amen

I saw the Easter Bunny today, he was making an Easter bonnet with Jesus, they were laughing and joking about whose was the best. The Easter Bunny, in my opinion had been a bit heavy with the little yellow chicks on his hat. Jesus, on the other hand, had spent so much time helping the children on the table around him to make their hats that all he had on his hat was a single pink feather at a jaunty angle! The children on the table all voted that Jesus was the winner....... and I had to agree (sometimes less is more!!!!)

That was just one of the amazing things that I saw happening at SpringFEST at St B's today. There were so many people in the building, from so many places: local schools, the local community, from Barney's, GAP, MiniGAP, the Family Craft Morning and the church family. The event was packed, around 350 people attended, 200 hot cross buns consumed, two bouncy castles bounced on, egg and spoon races raced, faces painted, songs sung, lasers shot, Wii's played, Easter nests made (and eaten!), and lots of smiles smiled and laughs laughed. Lots of Mums, Dads, Grandads, Grandmothers, Aunties, Uncles, big kids, little kids and an illusionist to boot.

A truly memorable event, God inspired and God delivered. Thank you Jesus, what an amazing honour to be part of such an awesome event.

There's nothing He doesn't know.......

The last few weeks it's been pretty hard to hold it all together. I've been juggling with so many emotions; sadness, fear, worry, tiredness, anger and at times rage. Dealing with them and keeping them undercontrol has been hard. Life at present is amazing yet still a bit unsure in the Dryden household with this court case still hanging over us.

Today has been one of those days when Jesus has said "Sal, stop holding on to the duvet too tightly you are nicking my bit and I am getting cold!"

Two Christmas's ago a wonderful friend gave me a framed copy of the picture at the top of this blog. It's called 'It is finished' by Aidan Meller. It is just beautiful, look at the look in Jesus' eyes. He is saying 'Just for you, it will be ok, I did this just for you'. I love this picture, it is one of my prized posessions and hangs in my office at home in front of my desk were can see it at all times, just a glimpse is all I need.

Sadly it's positioning on the wall seems to mean that if anyone (apart from me) wants to get the ironing board from where it lives they accidentally knock it off the wall, often without realising they have done it. I go back into my office and find it on the floor, frame bent and broken - I have reframed it once after many fixes of the first frame.

Sometimes it's the strangest things that tip you over the edge when you are feeling a little fragile and this was it. Today, not only was the picture on the floor in a crumpled heap but I joined it. We had a good sob together, I looked Him in the eyes, He told me it would all be ok, and off I set to fix the frame again.

As I have done so, I had to take the whole thing to pieces and glue it, and I have found that the picture is actually a card and I had never noticed this before. On the back of the card is printed 'If God is with us, who can be against us?' Romans 8 v 31.

What can I say, what can I sob, apart from thank you Lord - I know you are bigger than a broken frame - you mend broken lives - mine included.

The first day of the rest of my life!

I'm not a big fan of New Years Eve, my girls were killing themselves laughing last night at my 'bar humbug' attitude as the 'Happy New Year' texts were coming in on my phone and I was bemoaning how lame it was! Last year flew by so quickly, it was a blur, one minute it was Easter then next it was Christmas.

Yet God has used these last few days to teach me quite a lot about how complacent I have become over the past twelve months.

I read UCB's Word for Today http://www.ucb.co.uk/word_for_today each morning and the last three mornings (30th, 31st and 1st) have been epic in reminding me how easy it is to stop dreaming and just trundle on with life; how sad it is when you give up on your God given dreams because in human terms they seen unattainable; how easy it is to have your dreams stolen from you and how hard it is when life tests us. Please read these three days if you don't read any others and hopefully you will also feel your passions stirred, eager and excited to see what God will do this year in your life. (The paper version of the Word for Today is avail at the welcome desk at St B's, 50p)

This past year for me, when it started was full of exciting God given dreams, some of which have come to fuition - the new Mini GAP cafe and Cakes with the King at the Craft Morning. But my family are still wading through a ridiculous legal case against us and the process of exploring ordination for me have been draining, the end of one and beginning of the other seem to me in human terms, unattainable.

When you ask God for a vision, you're likely to be placed in a field of opportunities concealed under acres of obstacles; a place of possibilities hidden beneath piles of problems. Then He will stand back and watch how you engage in the ministry of obstacle management! (WfT 30.12.09)

This really challenged me, you see I have faced the challenges, the easy ones, but the challenges that were really challenging, ones that I might not suceed at I have skirted around and given back to God. In truth knowing that God wanted me to get on with it rather than give it back to Him. He has alreadly told me his plans but I am not brave enough to take on those harder challenges that 'humanly' I could fail at.

Obstacles can't steal your dream without your permission. Obstacles can't stop God, don't let them stop you. (WfT 31.12.09)

I have allowed my fear to steal my God given dream. Never in my life have I ever wanted something so much that I could admit it, ordination and 'Martha's. I have always held on privately and tightly to my dreams, but with God dreams come to life, not always in the way you expect but my Father wants the best for me! In the words of the prophet Chumbawumba "I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never going to keep me down!"

'Between your dream and its fulfillment you'll be tested. Your faith, patience, strength, focus and readiness' (WfT 1.1.10)

Yep, it's true, all of those have been tested. I have been battered and bruised this past year, my faith has made me able to thank God through it all and turn to him, but in all honesty I havent' fought in some places where I ought have. I have forgotten God's promises to me but I am so thankful that He hasn't and is still encouraging me, through Word for Today and other mediums.

I begin this year with fire in my heart for God's dreams for myself and my family.

I am sorry Lord for the times when I have let you down by backing away from challenges rather than facing them. I ask that you can forgive me and give me courage, thoughts, words and faith to face all of the tests of this coming year, whatever they may be - for Your glory. I love You. Amen x x x x x